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  #71  
Old 13th January 2018
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THANKS

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Originally Posted by lovelykamina View Post
congratulation for new story bhai...
...
all updates are fantastic ....laqgta hai ki koi serious problem hai dev ko....dekhte hai aagge kya hota hai...
Aap sayyad sahi soacch rahe rahi
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  #72  
Old 13th January 2018
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आर्यावर्bhai saandar update h waiting for next update

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  #73  
Old 13th January 2018
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nice update bhai
waiting for next

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  #74  
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superb update

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  #75  
Old 13th January 2018
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Nice start.. plot abi pura samaj ni aaya but hope interesting hoga..
Prefix dekh kr Soch m pad Gaya ki hai kya hoga isme .. ( BTW ek suggestion h , don't introduce incest part if not required)

Dev ka behavior kafi badla hua h jiski wajah s sab hi shocked h.. ghar m Maa savitri Aur behan Saloni wahi uske dost bi Sam Aur Rajiv Jo pehle bht ache dost thedev k but ab kuch Dino s wo naraz chal rahe Dev k behavior ki wajah s..
Komal Jo shayad Dev ko pasand krti thi wo Sam ki behan h.. dev n komal k phar Jo reject Kia is wajah s bi Sam naraz Tha but iss ye to clear h ki Dev Aur Sam bht ache dost the Aur Sam dev p kafi jyada Bharosha krta Tha but dev k behavior s wo naraz hone s jyada dukhi hui hoga..
Ab komal k kehne p Sam n ye pata lagane ki koshish kri h ki Dev k behavior k piche wajah Kya h..

Suspense to Akash bi h , aisa lag raha h ki Akash newly aaya aut Dev ko sabse alag krdia .. Akash ki abtk ki baato s aisa lagta ni ki wo Sam Rajiv wagrah ka dost h ya at least dev jaisa dost to ni h..

Secondly aisa bi lag raha ki Dev k behavior k piche pura hath Akash ka h but Akash k ghar m Jo baatein hui Aur jaisa Akash k dad kah rahe the usse laga ki wo log dev ki help krna chahte h but kis Cheez k liye ye samajh ni aaya..
( Maybe bcoz wo updates m kafi mistakes thi )

Last update m dev n Akash ki sister Richa ko bachane k chakkar m khud ko jhakhmi krlia Aur thda bht ni kafi jyada.. crtical condtn m h Dev..

Dev k Papa n bi jhoot bola ghar pr ki Dev inke stah h aur wo Delhi ja rahe h..

Dev k sath pakka koi problem jarur h and I really hope ki wo thek ho ar ye alash bi bura insan na ho ..

Well let's see Kya hota h..

Initial updates k comparison last update bht acha Tha .. ek request h , agar aap time nikal KR shuru k updates m mistakes thek krde bcoz agar new readers aaenge to may possible ki unko interesting na lage ..

All d best.....

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  #76  
Old 13th January 2018
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superb update bro
bahut himmat dikhayi h dev ne
ab dekhte h aage kya hota h
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*ख़ामोश रहिये, कर्म किजिए,*
*आपका मुकदमा ज़ारी है...*

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  #77  
Old 13th January 2018
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awweeesssooommee update hai bro
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  #78  
Old 13th January 2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ng93 View Post
Nice start.. plot abi pura samaj ni aaya but hope interesting hoga..
Prefix dekh kr Soch m pad Gaya ki hai kya hoga isme .. ( BTW ek suggestion h , don't introduce incest part if not required)

Dev ka behavior kafi badla hua h jiski wajah s sab hi shocked h.. ghar m Maa savitri Aur behan Saloni wahi uske dost bi Sam Aur Rajiv Jo pehle bht ache dost thedev k but ab kuch Dino s wo naraz chal rahe Dev k behavior ki wajah s..
Komal Jo shayad Dev ko pasand krti thi wo Sam ki behan h.. dev n komal k phar Jo reject Kia is wajah s bi Sam naraz Tha but iss ye to clear h ki Dev Aur Sam bht ache dost the Aur Sam dev p kafi jyada Bharosha krta Tha but dev k behavior s wo naraz hone s jyada dukhi hui hoga..
Ab komal k kehne p Sam n ye pata lagane ki koshish kri h ki Dev k behavior k piche wajah Kya h..

Suspense to Akash bi h , aisa lag raha h ki Akash newly aaya aut Dev ko sabse alag krdia .. Akash ki abtk ki baato s aisa lagta ni ki wo Sam Rajiv wagrah ka dost h ya at least dev jaisa dost to ni h..

Secondly aisa bi lag raha ki Dev k behavior k piche pura hath Akash ka h but Akash k ghar m Jo baatein hui Aur jaisa Akash k dad kah rahe the usse laga ki wo log dev ki help krna chahte h but kis Cheez k liye ye samajh ni aaya..
( Maybe bcoz wo updates m kafi mistakes thi )

Last update m dev n Akash ki sister Richa ko bachane k chakkar m khud ko jhakhmi krlia Aur thda bht ni kafi jyada.. crtical condtn m h Dev..

Dev k Papa n bi jhoot bola ghar pr ki Dev inke stah h aur wo Delhi ja rahe h..

Dev k sath pakka koi problem jarur h and I really hope ki wo thek ho ar ye alash bi bura insan na ho ..

Well let's see Kya hota h..

Initial updates k comparison last update bht acha Tha .. ek request h , agar aap time nikal KR shuru k updates m mistakes thek krde bcoz agar new readers aaenge to may possible ki unko interesting na lage ..

All d best.....
bhai bhaut bhaut shukriya

aap nai story ke ahruwaat mai hi etna sab bata diya


aur maine bhi phele dyyaan nahi diya

sayyad touch phone sai type karne ki vajah sai galati ho gayi thi


aap nai phir bhi interest liya us ke liye thanks aab thik kar diya hai

Aur akash kaya hai ye aage story mai pata lag jayega
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  #79  
Old 13th January 2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dev the lover View Post
bhai bhaut bhaut shukriya

aap nai story ke ahruwaat mai hi etna sab bata diya


aur maine bhi phele dyyaan nahi diya

sayyad touch phone sai type karne ki vajah sai galati ho gayi thi


aap nai phir bhi interest liya us ke liye thanks aab thik kar diya hai

Aur akash kaya hai ye aage story mai pata lag jayega
Last update m interesting laga h kuch isliye it a kuch likha hamne.. keep going. Good job..

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  #80  
Old 14th January 2018
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UPDATE 6



UPDATE 6

Pari - ha aaj hi mama ghar aaye to hamme unke sath aa gaye 1 month ho jaye bhaiya ko dhekhe binna kaha hai voo kaya unnhe hamari yaad nhi aaati aur unnhone call karanna bhi band kr diya aur humara call bhi nahi uthate hai ab mai kabhi mama ke ghar nahi jaungi

ABB AAGE


Neha -mai bhi nahi jaungi

Komal - arrre ab vo badal gaye hai

Neha -app chup ho jayeye aapko kaya Patta hamare bhaiyya kaya hai humare bhaiyya apni bhanno ke liye jaan bhi de sakkat hai

Saloni -denne ka to pata nhi le jarur sakata hai

Pari/neha -(cheek kar )didi

Neha -app log chup chaap bata do kaha hai bhaiyya

Komal - papa ke sath DELHI gye hai kal aa jaayenge

{Saloni ghurr ke komal ko dheketi hai }

Pari - chhaloo thik hai. Unnka room to vahi hai yaa phir badal diya

Saloni - nhi wahi hai ku abhi to vo yaha nhi hai phir kaya karanna ha

Neha -aap ko to patta hai naa hum dono ko unn ke bed par need aati hai ok aap log dinner baanna lo jab ho jaye tab bula lena

Saloni - ok beta aab jaoo tum log fresh ho jaoo

Vo dono challi jatyi hai aur komal appnne hi khayaalo mai gum ho gayi

Komal -(dhir sai ) kittne lucky hai dono ki unnke sath sonne ka mokka milata hai

Saloni -kya kaha tumne

Komal -- kuch nahi didi

Saloni - (man mai socchete hue ) ye dev ko etna respect sai ku baat kar rahi hai.

Komal - hello hello di di kaha kho gayi.

Saloni -khucch nahi vasse kaaya naam hai uss ka

Komal ke to pasine aa jaate hai

Saloni- bata na

Komal - woooo woooo

Saloni - bol jaldi tujhe meri kasam

Komal - di ye emotion blackmail hai

Saloni -di bhi kahati hai aur etani si baat bhi nahi batati hai jaldi bata

Komal- dddd.......eeeeee.

Tabhi savitri tezz sai saloniiiiiiiii

Saloni/komal bhhag kar unnke paass jati hai

Saloni - kaya hua maa

Savitri - beta tu appne papa aur dev ko bula jadi mera maan gahabaraah raha hai

Saloni -arre maa ek din ki to baaat hai .

Savitri - komal beta tu phone uttha mera mai khuud kar deti hu

Komal phone uthanne hi waali thi ki pari ki awwaj atti hai bh...aaa.......aiiiiiiiiii...yya

Saloni -aaj ghar mai sab pagal ho gaye hai uss ke liye ab eess ko kaya hua

Sab dev ke room mai jaate hai vha dono roo rahi. Thi

Savitri -kaya hua beta

Neha -ma..aa..a bhaiyya

Komal - arre kucch bata bhi do

Pari ek. Video chala kar unnhe de deti

Tino video dhekhnnee lagati hai par jasse talwar dev to lagati hai tino chilla chilla kar roone lagi haa ye dev ki fight waali video thi jo kisi nai net par viral kar di thi

ghar ke baaki logo shaam ko hi kisi party mai gaye the .............
Jo ab vaapas aa kar bell baja rahe the .........

Sab ko ghar mai jaate hi sab pata chal jatta hai devraj suraj ko phone laga kar hospital ka pata battane ko kahatte hai
Tabhi ek doctor suraj ko aakar kahata hai ho sakke to aap apne bete ke purane medical report maga le aur suraj apne pita sai kah deta hai ess baat ko

Devraj -arre saloni beta dev ke room mai sai usske medical reports lete aana

Saloni -ji dada ji

Saloni sarre drawars mai check karti hai khuch nahi milata phir vo ja kar almira mai check karati hai to kapadoo nai nicche usse ek file milati hai vo jaise file khol kar padati usse aisa lagata hai jaise ab sab khattam ho gaya hai

Komal - chaloo di aur file le kar dhekene lagati hai aur usske assu to ruke hi kaha the ab to nadi bahene lagi

Saloni bhaag kar apne maa ke gale lag jaati hai aur ronne lag jatti hai

Savitri - abhi enn sab ka time nahi hai beta chaloo jaldi

Saloni - maa bhaiyya ko bacha lo.

Savitri-ha beta vo thick hai tre papa kah rahe hai ki 2-4 din mai hosh aa jayega

Saloni sochati hai aagar maa ko abhi nahi battaya to late ho jayega

Devraj - ab chaloo bhi tum sab

Saloni -maa wo..oo

Savitri- bol jaldi

Saloni apana dil majbutt kar ke -maa bhai ko ca...nncer hai

Sabhi - kaya

Savitri - ye nahi ho sakata bhagawan mere sath esssa nhi kar sakate

Pari - (rote hue) maa aap jaldi chaliye naa mujhe bhaiyya ke paas.Sab logo ko jaise saap sungah gaya hoo...


Devraj himmat kar ke -ha pari beta ab jo ho gaya so ho gaya ab hum phele dr. sai mil le baad mai baad mai dhekhete hai aage kaya karana hai

Sab hospital ke liye rawanna ho jaate hai.............

Udhar hospital mai dev haalat mai shudhaar nahi ho raha tha

Rakesh - suraj ji dev ki halat bhaut critical hai hume esse shift karana hoga dusre hospital mai

Suraj - bhaishaab vo thik to ho jayega

Rakesh - kuch kah nahi kah sakete kidney bacch gayi par internal bleeding bahut jada hai aur upper saii.....

Suraj -kaya bhaishaab boleye

Rakesh - mujhe dev nai kasam di thi par ab usski jaan pr aayi hai to batata hu Actually dev ko blood cancer hai

Suraj dham sai nicche baath jata hai

Suraj -ye app nai pahele ku nahi bataya

Rakesh - Dev har baar mujhe rok deta tha

Suraj -mera beta bach to jayega app paise ki fikar mat karana bus app usse thik kar do

Rakesh - app kaise baate kar rahe hai vo mera bhi beta hai mera dost aaj 12 : 30 baje aa raha hai vo US sai vo saayad kuch kar sakata hai

Suraj - app kuch bhi kar ke usse bacha leejiye

Rakesh - abhi 12 bej rahe hai
Aap ja kar usse recieve kar yahi le anna ye raha uska no aur photo

Suraj photo dhekene lagata hai phir wo shidha airport nikal jatta hai .........


12:45
Location Delhi Airport
Annoucement sound for US flight .............

Kuch time baad vo scientist bhaar aata hai kafi smart lag raha tha black shirt mai tha vo usse body par khil rahi thi ess umar mai bhi kafit tha

Suraj - hello Rajesh

Rajesh - arre jija ji Aap yaha

Suraj - tu scientist hai kaya

Rajesh - haa jija ji par mujhe hospital janna hai mera dost nai kisi kaam koi ladaka hai usse cancer hai aur aaj mere dost ki beti ki jaan bacchate hue use kafi injury aayi hai par kal mai ghar par milata hu aap sai

Suraj - arrr arre toda saas to le

Rajesh - arre jija aap samajh ku nahi rahe time kam hi

Suraj - chal jaldi ....... arre ab khadda kaya hai chal jaldi

Rajesh - par mai aap ko nahi le ja sakata hu ye jo mai karene ja rha hu wo illegal hai

Suraj - wo ladaka koi aur nahi apana dev hai

Rajesh - kaya oh nooo......

Suaraj - kaya hua

Rajesh - Rakesh nai baataya hai uski halaat bhaut cirtical hai bas kuch ghante hai apne dev ke pass ab time waste mat karo jaldi chalo



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Last edited by Dev the lover : 6th February 2018 at 11:57 PM.

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