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  #41  
Old 12th January 2018
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nice story Bhai....

aur Update bhi badhiya hai...

Par kuch gap dekar likhte to padhne me asani hogi.
otherwise nice.....
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Rudradip - The God and Devil

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  #42  
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keep rocking...
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Last edited by Rudradip193 : 12th January 2018 at 10:02 PM.

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  #43  
Old 12th January 2018
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akhir mera kasur kya hai??
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bhai kyo title ki mar ke rakh diya ..jaruri hai ki usme sare prefix add karo...
bhai sahi kaha itni bhi kya jarurat pad gayi ki itna lamba nam rakh liya...phir bhi For new story....
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  #44  
Old 12th January 2018
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akhir mera kasur kya hai??
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updates...
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  #45  
Old 12th January 2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pradip dalai View Post
bhai sahi kaha itni bhi kya jarurat pad gayi ki itna lamba nam rakh liya...phir bhi For new story....
Bhai change kaise karu
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  #46  
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bahi story mast h zabardast
butt thora gap k sath or sahi lafzoo mai likho dear
samjh ni a rahi story
plz dont maiend
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  #47  
Old 12th January 2018
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thanks

Ok
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Dost dailogues mein gap to dal....
Sab much mix ho raha hai....
Aur thoda dheere likho.....
Kafi fast likh rahe ho....

Last edited by Loving heart : 12th January 2018 at 10:41 PM.

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  #49  
Old 13th January 2018
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Thanks

Aap ki vajah sai editor sahi sai use kar paya and all o my viewers i slove the gap problem
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update 4



UPDATE 4



Sham ke

5:30

Location -resturant

Sam - Arre kaha rah gaya tha yaar


rajiv- yaar kuch baat patta chali hai par jada kuch samajh nahi aayi

komal- baataoo too sahi


rajiv- batana kaya sunnata maine sab record kar liya haj

Sam- ye to aur aacha kiya tunne

Komal -rukk saloni di aa rahi hi par yaar 5:30 baj gaye abhi tak nahi aayi


komal saloni ko call kar deti hai


komal- hello di kaha ho hum yaha kab sai aap ka wait kar rahe hai

saloni -arre ye dev nai ma ko dakka de diya sir par chot aayi hai khoon kaafi nikala gaya hai

Komal - kaya ye sab kaise ho gaya


Saloni - haaa par ab thik hai doctor nai chekup kar liya hai

Saloni -tum log kaya bataane wale the batoo do abhi


Komal- Vasse hum aaa rahe hai aap ke pass wahi bata denge

Sam - kaya hua

Komal - chaloo dev ke ghar jaldi
Ladata hai ye ladaka pagal ho gaya

Sam bike lekar dev ke ghar ki taraf nikal padata hai rajiv aur komal ko lekar

6:30 Dev house


Saloni -are komal tum aa gayi chaloo andar chaloo.

Komal -aunty kaha hai


saloni-andar hai


sab log 2nd flour pai aa jatte hai savitri ke room mai.



Komal -arre aunty kaya hua ye sab kaise ho gaya aur dev kaha hai

Ess sawal ko sunnkar savitri ko dev ke ghar chhod kar janne ki baat yaaad aatti hai



Savitri -Dev dev saloni dev kaha hai


Saloni(gusse mai )- app usski chinta matt karo app ko daakka. Diya tha na uussne esse phele too vo mar jata to thik hota



Savitri -koma........a....lllll aur ek taappad uss ke galo par jor sai mar deti hai


Komal -aunty ye galt hai galti kisi aur ki aur Aap maar kisi aur ko rahi ho.


Savitri -arre beta Dev to doodoo vo ghar chood ko janne ko kah rha tha aur ussne mujhe dhaakka nahi diya vo to mai behos ho gayi thi



Saloni -nhi de...vvv.....de....v nahi ja sakata

vo bhag kar dev ke room mai jaati hai par vaha dev nahi tha vo jor jor sai roonne lag jatti hai aur apni maa ke paass aa jatti hai


Saloni - maa vo chala gaya maaa voooo

Aur sab ke aakho mai assu aaa jaate hai.

Tabhi saloni ko khuch yaad aata hai

Saloni -komal vo baat kaya hai jo tum baatane wali thi


Komal -rajiv bhai vo recording sunnoo to sahi.


Rajiv - lo sunno

Khucch dher baad
Sab socchne lagate hai ye scientist ka kaya chhakkar hai


Savutri - sunno ji mujhe lagTa hai merA beta kisi mussi baat mai hai aap khuch karoo na


Suraj -tum chup ho jaoo mai dhekhatt hoooo arre sam

Sam - ji

Suraj - beta chaloo galdi akash ke ghar

Sam - ji uncle chaliye

Edhar Dev akash ke ghar ke bhar bell bajata hai to akash ki mom ( vishakha ) jase hi gate kholati hai saammne dev khhada tha pat uss ki haalat dhekh kar usse 440 volt ka jahtaka lagata hai

Dev purra khoon mai sanna hu tha aur usske god mai cute si ladki thi jo behosh thi


Akashv- kon hai mom. ar.......rre ye sab kaya hua Dev aur ye richa ko kaya hua hai

Riccha - akash sister

Dev khucch nahi bolata hai buss andar ja kar riccha ko soffe par lita deta hai

aur jaise hi picche hatta hai bus ettna hi kha pata hai meri maa ka dhyaaa..nnnnnn....

Aur beshosh ho kar gir jata hai

Akash jaldi sai apne papa ko ambulance laanne ko kahatta hai khud dher mai tino Dev aur riccha ko admit kar dete hai aur dev esss time icu mai hai..


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Last edited by Dev the lover : 6th February 2018 at 10:18 PM.

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